Loneliness Epidemic in Japan

There is an epidemic of loneliness in Japan.  Let’s take a look at some interesting aspects of the loneliness issues.  The topics are not listed in any specific order so let’s get started.

Japan May Become Extinct

Wow!  What is that all about? Let’s not panic yet.  There is no denying that Japan has a population that is declining.  I have read this in a few places on the Internet so it must be true.  Populations in general tend to have an increasing population if they are growing.  People will pass on and new people are born.  If a population has more births than deaths, with all other variables equal, a population should increase in size.  Japan is modern stable country so why is it that their population is shrinking and not growing?  Let’s look at the 2 following stats and review:

  • By the year 2050 –  [40-50 percent of Japan’s population will be over the age of 65]
  • By the year 2050 – [According to the UN projections, Japan’s population will be reduced by 15%]

Why is this?  In short because:

  • Japan is not having as many babies compared to other countries
  • Japan has a population that is older and living longer

The good news is that there is plenty of time to worry. Japan has about 1000 years to correct its trajectory before the situation is dire. 

Japan also has an issue with the elderly population where the percentage of that population segment aged 65 and older is expected to drastically increase by 2050 and beyond

Loneliness plays a significant role in the statistics just outlined.  The younger population is not having enough sex and not creating babies while the older population tends to live isolated lives and no longer connected with their children or community.

The elderly population is also a strain to the younger generation because there are not enough healthcare workers to help the elderly.  This situation will grow as does the elderly population.

The younger generation is focused on work, both men and woman.  Couples are married but hesitant to start a family.  The following are some of the issues:

  • Long work hours.  It is typical for workers to work very late and the do not get home until 10PM or 11PM and are too tired from work to have sex.
  • Women are in the work force instead of staying home to focus on a family.  Typically a woman will either “Raise a family” or “Work” not both.  Doing both is not respected in Japanese culture.  Women are choosing work instead of babies.
  • Raising a family is expensive and couples either delay the baby starting process or have chosen to bypass it entirely.
  • Workers are taking less vacation and holiday.
  • Modern men are sometimes interested in digital girlfriends. Fantasy woman instead of a physical relationship.

Couples are not having sex.  The act of sex is not interesting to some males and some women feel the process to too involved.

A recent survey from the Japan Family Planning Association revealed that 49.3% of respondents between 18-49 years old said they hadn’t had sex in the past month. Compared to results of a similar study just two years prior, that was nearly a 10% increase.

Modern Day Hermits (Hikikomori)

There is small segment of the younger population that has displaced themselves from the outside world.  They stay in their room and rarely venture outside their home.

  • Shutoff from society.
  • They lock themselves in their room but connected to the Internet.
  • They do not work or go to school.
  • If you are exclusively inside and this continues for over 6 months you are considered Hikikomori.
  • No real interest in the physical outside world.
  • Some had felt bullied and because of this, stop going to school.
  • Parents tend to be hands off and try to let the child work out their own issues and unfortunately most never do without 3rd party intervention.
  • Government estimates that 600-700 thousand families have Hikikomori.
  • Never progress in to society (only if they rehabilitated).
  • There are support groups available.
  • Some interviews of Hikikomori seem to indicate that one or both of their parents had issues communicating with them or claim that the one or both parents did not love them.
  • A Hikikomori in recovery described the affliction as “U” shaped process.  The left hand side of the U symbolizes their descent in to seclusion.  The bottom of the “U” symbolizes the rock bottom of the process where they reach out for help (or help is introduced by parents).  The right side of the “U” symbolizes their recovery.
  • Some believe Hikikomori is a Japanese specific affliction and because of Japans high regard for success; this generates huge amounts of stress for the parents and children.  The parents deal with pressure to manage and mold their children in to successful members of society.  The child feels tremendous stress and shuts down.

Rent a Sister

  • These woman help coax Japan’s Hikikomori out of their rooms.
  • It may take a while to build trust so this service is usually required for an extended period of time.

Herbivore Men sōshoku-kei danshi

Some women describe certain Japanese males as Herbivore Men.  In a nutshell, these men are not interested in getting married or committing to a girlfriend.  Some describe them as young men who are not “manly” or assertive. Others describe them as men who want nothing to do with tradition, they are sensitive rational men but not interested in “chasing” woman or finances.

Rent a Man

  • Japanese women “rent men” who are paid just to listen
  • Japan is a respectful culture and women can use the service to let their guard down and speak about how they are really feeling without concern of social standards

Rent a Family

  • Japan has a high concern for respecting themselves and each other.  So much so that many social and private events are expected to adhere to a protocol. These protocols may require a fully functional family unit.  If for any reason you need to supplement your situation you can “rent” whatever is required  
  • Having the ability to rent a friend allows one to speak about how they actually feel.  There is social pressure even with friendships that will cause a certain amount of fakeness to maintain status quo.
  • Family rentals are popular for the same reasons people enjoy real families
    • Some individuals rent parents for wedding ceremonies because their real parents are deceased of have disowned them.
    • Rent a father
    • Rent a husband
    • Rent a mother
    • Rent a wife
    • Rent a wife with an infant (The infant is the real birth baby belonging to the rental wife)
    • Rent brothers and sister
    • Rent a bride
    • Rent a groom

Some of these rental combinations may seem ridiculous but there is a market for these services and the cost can be as low as $45 per hour per person you rent.

For example there is a man who regrettably treated his real wife badly as she was on her death bed. In short, he blamed her for getting sick and his daughter became outraged at his selfishness and disowned him.  He lost his wife and never sees his daughter.  Since he lost his family, on occasion he rents a “wife” and “daughter” to eat with him at his home.  They share a basic meal together and talk as a family would during a meal.  At some point after the meal and the dishes are cleaned, the rental wife and daughter will leave.

Another example of a rental situation would be where some schools require an entrance interview process.  If you are a single parent, your chances of enrollment may be reduced if the perception is a “broken family”.  For a situation like this, you would rent either a wife or husband for the interview, crating the appearance of a “whole” family.

Cyber Café Permanent Residence

When one thinks of a Cyber Café they might think of a place you go to temporarily rent some space that has a computer with Internet access and a small table.  Maybe a cafe is used for some gameplay or a quiet place for research.  In most cases this is probably true but in some crowded cities, a cafe can be used as a lean living environment.  Since the areas are rented by the hour, you can think of a cafe like a very minimal motel room.

For example, if you are out with some friends and find yourself missing a train home you can easily rent a spot in the cafe and sleep for a few hours.   You can shower in private, eat and also shop for clothing at some of these locations too.

Unfortunately, most of these patrons are lonely and come because they do not have substantial relationships.  While they may use the Internet as a tool that connects them online and gives them the ability to chat and play with an online community, they are physically isolated.

Long term users of a cyber cafe can also be nicknamed “Net Café Refugee”.  As the term would suggest, these users do not have a permeant residence and instead rent space in a cafe long term.

Old Men

  • In the 1960’s and 1970’s there was a labor shortage in Japan.  Many workers became handy men and laborers relocating to various cities to work on civil engineering projects
  • Since the 90’s there has been less of this work
  • There workers usually relocated without their famlies and lost connection with them while working, so now they are elderly and alone
  • Every hour – 3 men die alone in japan
    • Neighbors are usually first to know because of a decomposing smell
    • Lonely death is known as Kodokushi (Not specific to only men but the elderly in general)

As per Wikipedia:

Kodokushi or lonely death refers to a Japanese phenomenon of people dying alone and remaining undiscovered for a long period of time. The phenomenon was first described in the 1980s. Kodokushi has become an increasing problem in Japan, attributed to economic troubles and Japan’s increasingly elderly population. It is also known as koritsushi and dokkyoshi.

Cleanup professionals

Older people are dying alone in their homes at an alarming rate.  This is referred to as “lonely Deaths”.  Since these older people are alone and not communicating with others, it is not uncommon for their deaths to go unnoticed until neighbors smell a decomposing body.  At this point, a special cleaning crew is sent to the location to manage the belongings of the deceased and to also sanitize and clean the area.

Cleanup crews address the issue of cleaning the location where the person passed away and also manage their belongings.  First and foremost the location must be cleaned.  A decomposing body creates a strong odor and stains the location where the body laid.  This process might require removing a rug then cleaning the stained floor.  As described by a Cleanup Professional, the body’s liquid and fats will eventually leak from a body and absorb in to the location, this must be cleaned thoroughly.  There may also be a number of bugs that resulted from the decomposing body, this needs to be cleaned as well.

The next step is to remove any perishable goods from the location, such as food from the refrigerator.

Finally the other products in the home are collected and sold.  Items such as tables, chairs, dressers, clothes, computers, jewelry and televisions are collected and sold.

Most of the time, this service is required because the elderly person who passed on did not have any family available to address this unfortunate process.

Suicide in Japan

Suicide is a large problem in Japan.  This nation has a high percentage of suicide compared to other populations.  For every 100,000 people, the rate is about 2 times higher compared to the United States and Europe.  It is estimated that 30,000 per year (100 per day) commit suicide.  Sadness, depression, loneliness and life satisfaction are major contributors. Most suicide is committed by older men. 

Divorce In Japan

  • The divorce rate in Japan is considerably less than the United States but is growing.
  • The divorce rate is also increasing at a high rate among couples that have been married for 20 years or more.
  • Unlike the United States where joint custody of children is common, in Japan custody is granted to either the man or woman.  Usually the woman is granted custody.  Joint custody is illegal.

For more details check out DIVORCE IN JAPAN

In closing it is clear that there are some loneliness issues in Japan.  Every culture has its challenges and some of these issues are universal.  Let’s see how it goes…