Go to school, study hard, get good grades, choose your direction in life, climb that ladder, retire, now DIE! This is the abridged version of how the majority of the population lives their life. A lot of choices and hard work are mixed in to that crude recipe but this is a popular route which unfortunately creates high levels of frustration, anger, resentment and loneliness.
Frustration = Feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.
Anger = Strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.
Resentment = Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
Loneliness = Sadness because one has no friends or company.
No, you are not crazy. Most of the work force is frustrated, angry, resentful and lonely. Let’s review.
Long Commute
Commuting is how we start and end our professional day. Everyone’s commute consumes a different amount of time but let’s do some simple math. Assuming your commute is 1 hour each direction, that consumes 2 hours a day.
- 2 hours a day multiplied by a 5 day work week = 10 hours commuted per work week
- 10 hours commuted per week multiplied by 4 weeks in a month = 40 hours commuted per month
The minimal work week is 40 hours of work per week. We just ran the numbers and you are commuting 40 hours per month. Your monthly commute is equivalent to an entire work week!
Let’s exasperate this and calculate the time spent commuting for the year:
- 40 hours per month multiplied by 12 months = 480 hours commuted in a year
- 480 hours simplified in to work weeks = 12 work weeks
In a single work year, the average commuter spends the equivalent of 12 weeks (40 hour work weeks) traveling to and from work. That is 3 work months commuting every year!
Of course you can attempt to make the best of this situation and use this time to read leisure books, catch up on the news, and listen to audio books or music. Making good use of this time is the only thing you can do to justify this time that is otherwise just wasted.
So at the start and end to every professional day, you spend time commuting. If you cannot develop good habits for using this time there will certainly be an increase in frustration, anger, resentment and loneliness.
Long Work Hours at the Office
The standard work week is usually set at 40 hours a week. That of course is the entry level number and it is not uncommon to see this number increase everywhere. The average worker needs to put in long hours at the office, but it doesn’t end there. Because of project deadlines and customer expectations, many businesses compete to satisfy customers with better-and-more-service. Services are the basic unit of what consumers require and what businesses deliver; everyone understands that. Provide great service and customers are satisfied. There however is an issue of “how much is enough” and unfortunately the answer seems to simply be “more”; there is never enough. The 9AM-5PM, Monday to Friday cycle has been replaced with 12AM to 12PM Monday to Sunday (24 hours a day – 7 days a week).
If you are a large business it is very likely you can satisfy 24X7 availability by utilizing multiple “shifts” for different employees or spreading your workforce over multiple time zones. If however you are not part of a large organization, businesses will still attempt to compete with this coverage by “Putting workers on call”. This simply translates into extending the hours that employees work. After an employee works a standard work shift, being on call requires that employee continue being available, typically this includes 24 hour periods and the weekends too. During this “on call” shift you need to be available to provide customer service. Basically you are working for free.
Having little down time and felling like you are always on the clock is going to create feelings of anger, frustration and resentment. Even knowing that the grass is most likely not greener working for any other employer, you either need to accept this or work on a better way of life. You can either pick a field of work that does not require always-on-service or create a lifestyle that provides great service to customers without sacrificing all your time.
Minimal Vacation
At least you have some downtime and get to relax during the work year; Right? 2 weeks’ vacation is the norm, maybe 4 weeks if you are lucky. 2 weeks out of 52 weeks in the year. I hope you really love your job, because if you do not, only 2 weeks may be painful.
Enjoy your vacation…Oh, and don’t forget to check your email and voicemail multiple times a day. Remember you’re a team player and not a slacker…
The takeaway from this observation is that your life is allocated only a certain undermined amount of time. If you are depending on the weekends and vacation to experience pleasure you by default lose.
- 365 days in a year
- 96 days off for weekends
- 14 days off for vacation
- 15 days off for holidays and sick days?
240 work days and 125 off days. If you do not love each of your days at work this is a sad situation.
Analyze this situation and let it soak in. Maybe now is a good time to start thinking about changing your life? Wasting time can absolutely create angry and frustrating thoughts. You do not have much control over vacation if you are an employee so either accept the fact that your freedom is greatly restricted, or start planning a different life.
Performance Pressure
Workers in the past decades and centuries had very specific duties. These duties were very likely monotonous but very predictable. Fast forward to now and workers need to be more dynamic. In the past you may have worked in a factory inspecting thousands of bottles as the rolled down the production line. Today you need to operate a computer, respond to emails, attend and possibly coordinate meetings, communicate status on projects, provide support to staff and customers. Being dynamic could be considered less mind numbing than a factory-assembly-line-worker, but being dynamic can also spiral in to a rabbit hole of never ending responsibility expansion. Your duties are always evolving and the odds are that you will be doing more with the same pay. This is common practice in corporate land, some cliché phrases to encourage and justify your ever expanding role might include:
- We work hard and play hard
- Everyone has to do their share and then some, it is the nature of your position
- There is no “I” in “TEAM”, let’s keep our eye on the ball and work harder
- We are in this together
- We all work hard here; Stay focused especially during the difficult times
You may be incentivized with the possibility of bonuses and or salary increases sometime in the “Near future” but in the mean time you may just have to deal with some additional frustration, anger, and resentment.
Sometimes it helps to just accept the fact that this is what you should expect from the workplace. You will experience the same buzzwords and catch phrases wherever you work. What else can you expect employers to say that has not already been said before? There are only so many ways to get a horse or any animal to drag a cart. We are animals with the ability to think so instead of a “carrot” or “whip”, there are a handful of psychological techniques used to motivate. Basically these techniques are just fancy carrots.
You can either just recognize and accept this and don’t take it personally, or figure out a better way to live life on your own terms and create your own path.
Concentration Dilemma
Concentration can also become an issue with either the ever increasing responsibilities that creep up on you or because of standard day-to-day issues. Common work tasks that need attention regularly though out the day might include:
- Dealing with customers in person, on the phone or via email
- Supporting internal employees
- Meetings
- Phone calls
- Noisy office (open office setup, desk by the bathroom or kitchen area)
- Unexpected desk visits from random users with random requests
- Tasks handed down to you from management
There will always be priorities in your work and everyone deals with distractions day but for a good percentage of the work force many deal with the perfect storm of distractions daily. A fragmented day full of distractions is common place and very frustrating. You can better deal with distractions by accepting the fact that this-is-part-of-life and roll with the punches but just focusing with on whatever pops onto your plate or maybe start to practice “mindfulness”. Mindfulness which is basically “The psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which can be developed through the practice of meditation and other training”.
Unfulfilled Work
Most people can better enjoy work when they are involved with tasks and goals they can enjoy and are passionate about. When you are focused and challenged with work that you truly enjoy, the days flow and quality results are usually produced. If however you are working on tasks and goals that do not peak your interest then the day drags and you feel unfulfilled even after reaching your goals. It is also disappointing when you do have the opportunity to work on tasks that seem fulfilling but your day is continuously interrupted with the “perfect storm” of distractions.
If you are unfulfilled or interrupted regularly at work then you can simply accept the fact that you are trading your time for a salary or an hourly wage, and drudge on. Most people already do this. The big issue with this technique is that you are spending most of your waking hours at work. You are trading your life for money. Most of your time is spent on suffering and coping. This is not fulfilling.
Your also have the option of changing your work and finding a way to trade your life for something that matters to you. As we discussed, regardless of “where you work” and “what you do”, if you work for someone else you are basically at your employers mercy and must comply and deal with their requirements.
Co-Workers
Everyone has Co-Workers they must deal with in the office. They are your workplace neighbors. Just like neighbors in your community, some are pleasant and others are more difficult to deal with. If however you have bad neighbors in your community, sometimes you can just avoid them or build a bigger fence around your property for more privacy.
In the workplace however you cannot build a fence and sometimes have to work with your office neighbors, this can be frustrating. You are at work and do not have control over who you must work with or sit next to. Since you have no control this can be very frustrating. You can either talk to Human Resources and your supervisor about all of your issues but the reality is that this may help slightly but never completely. The only way to completely resolve the issue is for you to change. Change your expectations or change your perception.
Most of the circumstances that revolve around work can easily lead to frustration, anger and loneliness. We all need money to survive but when you factor in all the moving-parts that make up the work day, you can easily become overwhelmed with the sad fats that you are suffering. Even though most of your day is surrounded by people there is no denying that there is an epidemic of loneliness and a strain on your mental health. It is ironic that we are surrounded by people yet the effects of commuting and working seem to create isolation and loneliness. We are suffering and feel broken; mostly because we assume that we are inadequate and unable to enjoy the day. We look at everyone and it seems that they are naturally well adjusted to their work life. Don’t worry, most are professional actors. Now that you know you are not alone, you can start taking control and begin to design a better version of yourself.